Who wears a wallet chain?!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
