You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
