The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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