I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
