and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize