Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
