Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
