Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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