What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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