Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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