your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
