I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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