i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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