Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
