I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
