he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
