Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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