Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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