maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
