Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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