Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
