I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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