Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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