11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
