In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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