you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
