I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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