Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
