We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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