After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just found puke in my bra..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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