please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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