it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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