I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
