You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
