I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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