dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
