I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
