Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
