Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
