Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
