Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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