Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
