it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
