why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
