Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
