You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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