Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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