dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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