you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
