There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize