Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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