At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
