Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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