I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
