No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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