Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I love you.
Bad choice
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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