party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize