I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm at about main and main street
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
