I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
