another moral hangover. fuck.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
