i think my mom watched the whole time
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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