whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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