Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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